The Scrapbook of Sherlock Holmes by Archie Rushden

Author:Archie Rushden
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Sherlock Holmes, mystery, crime, british crime, sherlock holmes fiction, sherlock holmes novels
ISBN: 9781780929224
Publisher: Andrews UK Limited 2016
Published: 2016-06-08T00:00:00+00:00

The Case of the Holy Bones

“The price of toast, my dear Watson, is eternal vigilance. There is simply no other way to ensure the perfect, universal, golden brown colour than to remain for ever at the qui vive whilst your bread toasts. Should the attention wander, even for a single second, all may be lost. I have in mind a monograph upon the subject...”

“Thank you Holmes,” I replied, “I’ll take mine as it comes from Mrs Hudson and be glad not to have to crouch over our fire for hours on end with a toasting fork.”

“You may have a point” replied my friend with a deep sigh, rising from our fire and casting the fork, still with its burden of pale, untoasted bread, into the hearth. “I am unconvinced that I actually like toast anyway. Reality never really equals expectation, and the transformation from golden perfection to cold cardboard is far too rapid.”

Holmes joined me at our breakfast table, which was cluttered with the remains of our kippers, our newspapers, and that morning’s post. For the first breakfast in more than a week, my friend was in a distinctly good humour; his unexpected joviality prompting me into a deduction of my own.

“I perceive that at last you have a promising case. I presume it was brought by the postman.”

“Remarkable Watson,” Holmes replied, “I see that I must look to my laurels. Meanwhile, I would be obliged if you would look over this and let me know what you make of it.” He tossed an envelope across the table to me.

Now, here was the sort of game I enjoyed. I took my time, studying first the address and postmark and then turning the envelope carefully in my hands. I was surprised to see that the flap of the envelope had been sealed with wax as well as gummed down. Holmes was watching me intently.

“Well, what can you deduce from the envelope?” he asked at length.

“Firstly”, I replied irritably, “the envelope has been opened using our butter knife.”

“Watson! You excel.”

“Hmm” I replied. “It is good quality stationery. Someone is out to impress. It was posted yesterday in Sandchester. The address is carefully written, with a newish pen, in blue-black ink. The writing is halting though...”

“Capital, Watson!”

“The writing is that of an educated man but, I suggest, an elderly or infirm one.”

“And the seal, Watson, what do you make of that?”

“Ah, the seal. Firstly, it is unnecessary as the gum would have served just as well on its own. Secondly, it is ostentatious - even a little vulgar perhaps. I may be wholly in error here but I would suggest some nouveau-riche tradesman, recently knighted perhaps and anxious that we should all know of it. He is on holiday in Sandchester and has discovered some mystery at his lodgings. Am I right Holmes?”

My friend chortled with amusement: “Indeed you are Watson. Indeed you are.”

“Do you know the new-made knight then, Holmes?” I asked.

“Ah, no, forgive me,” replied Holmes: “I meant that you are right in thinking yourself ‘wholly in error’.

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